Uninformed Comment

Roll-top desk

Posted in Furniture, Humour, Old but cool by uninformedcomment on May 1, 2009

Some lucky bastard works here

Some lucky bastard works here

I found this photo on the web, but I don’t know anything about it.

Except, needless to say, that I want one of those desks.  The chair too, please.   Oh, and that captain’s chair on the left, in case anyone visits and wants to sit next to my desk – you know, a weird person.  Probably one that wears a straw boater too.   I’ll bet weird people in straw boaters are forever coming round and wanting to sit next to your desk once you’ve got a roll-top.  It certainly seems to happen to the owner of that one.

The obvious question, of course, once the small matter of finding one and buying it is resolved, is: what would one do with all those little drawers and compartments?

Some obvious uses:

  1. Paper clips.  It’s always a good idea to have a place to put paper clips, even if (like me) you’ve not actually used one for years.
  2. Pens.  You can never have enough pens.  Never.  Especially nice ones.
  3. Cables.  USB, RCA, RJ45, DIN, mini-jack, jack, mini-USB, the lot.  And a variety of adapters between different sizes, sexes and types.
  4. Lighters, flints, petrol, gas, and spare lighters.  And spare parts.  And various broken lighters for sentimental reasons.
  5. Stapler, and lots of little boxes of staples.   See paper clips.  Years, I tell you, years.
  6. Worm food.  Handy to have around in case you get a worm farm.
  7. Worm farm, since you’ve got all that food.  I bet the little buggers’ll be nice and snug in one of those drawers, but you’d need to line it.
  8. Plant food.  Look, you don’t just have a worm farm unless you’ve got plants (they could go on top), and plants can’t survive just on worm oozings.
  9. Soil testing kit.  It’s important that you regulate the pH level of the soil to keep your plants happy and healthy.
  10. Fishing tackle.   If you’ve got worms in your desk …

This is the problem with a hobby.  You start out looking for a nice piece of furniture, and the next thing, you’re sitting on the banks of the River Aire in the rain, wearing an anorak and a puzzled expression, hoping for bream.  And, let me tell you now, when you find yourself hoping for bream, you know you’ve lost what psychiatrists term “the plot”.

So, perhaps it’s best so be content with your current  cheap, crude, compartmentless desk, devoid of rolling top, and know that never in your life will you find yourself looking forward to a Thermos of tea and a Tupperware container with a meat-paste sandwich in it.

See what you've started?

See what you've started?

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